McAfee customer support

I’ve been having a fight with McAfee. Or rather, I’ve been having a fight and they’ve been waging a war of attrition. Starting with an automatic renewal that I didn’t want containing two e-mail addresses to contact customer services on, both of which bring back an autoresponder telling me to go to the website for help. Go to the website and work through their pseudo-AI FAQ system, to the point where it says “Did this help? If not contact customer services through live chat”. Then trying live chat and waiting for 1 minute to talk to ‘David Trevett’ who starts with “Can you please tell me the versions of the McAfee products you are using, and also give a brief description of your issue?”. That sounds very scripted, and then he doesn’t understand my reply: “My anti-virus subscription has been renewed and I want a refund”. So, I’ve been put on hold for one minute to talk to a chat-bot. Wonderful. Trying again does bring up a “You know you can talk to us on 020 7949 0107” after about 3 minutes of non-responsive chat-bot data-mining spent looking for matches to my “give me my money back” question in its database.

So I call the number, get put through to a person (I think), and actually get my refund, and also make sure they don’t ever renew anything else ‘to enhance my service level’. Then, trying to be helpful, I tell the guy on the phone that the e-mail addresses they’ve put on their receipt don’t work. “But I’ve typed your e-mail address into my screen and it’s brought back your details so it must work.” “No, not my e-mail address. My e-mail address works, yours doesn’t.” “Ours doesn’t work?” “billings@ and subscriptions@ both send back an autoresponder saying the mailboxes are inactive. You should probably take those off of your receipts.” I’m feeling helpful, despite the experience so far, but he’s having none of it: “Okay, I’ll send you an e-mail with our customer support addresses so if you need to get in touch with us you can use those. How will that do?” “Yeah, that’ll do….”

I’m still undecided as to whether I just spoke to a chat-bot with a scottish accent or not.